Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Let me start by warning you all that this post will not be one that is very fun to read. It is not positive nor inspiring. As a matter of fact, vibes of depression and frustration are emanating from it as I type each word. You should start feeling it in about a few lines.
So, I'm a few months away from graduating and suddenly I realize that my life is already changed. My friendships with those I have seen on campus every single day is growing apart while others completely ended. Life is just funny this way. Not. You know that game with all the chips building up a certain shape and you start playing by removing chip by chip without the whole structure crumbling down? Well, I feel like I am at that point in my life. I hadn't even noticed it that much until I started contemplating. Until I began remembering what life was for me a year ago, for instance. One by one, relationships I have made had ended. Friendships I poured alot of heart and soul into just grew apart until they became a phonecall a month (at best). It's a pity, isn't it? How at some point your life revolves around a certain people and then life happens and you find yourself living, without them. The sad thing is, you never really acknowledge it. It all happens gradually until one day, you think back and find that there's someone missing. Only he/she has been missing too long now for you to do anything about it.
However, I just had another epiphany. You know how in that game there are certain pieces you could remove WITHOUT tearing down the whole God damn thing? Well, I suppose if those people had been so important in my life, their absence would have made a huge gap that would have made me feel like my life couldn't survive without them. Only, here's the trick. In life, it is very rare that you find those kind of people. Relationships end in break-ups, marriages occasionally lead to divorces, friendships wither away when taken for granted and well, people die. Life, however, continues. You continue living. You make other friendships and other relationships and hope to God that he will not take away those pieces in your life that are too important to continue living without. Oh well, how about that? I guess there was an inspired part afterall. I'm sorry, I can't help the optimism. It has become a curse to me ever since I got it.
P.S If anyone remembers the name of that game, please share it. It really bothers me that I have to keep referring to it as "the game".